Many people assume that there are only positive feelings when adoptive parents finally get to take their child home. This isn’t the case. Adoption can be very hard on both the adoptive parents and the children they welcome into their homes.
Some adoptive parents try to distance themselves from the situation before the child comes home with them. If they are adopting a baby that hasn’t been born yet, they might opt to think of the baby as more of an object. This feeling often abates once they see the baby.
After the baby is born, they might start to think of the child as their own. They will likely still stay guarded until they get the approval to take the child home. This is because the adoptive parents might be concerned that the birth parents aren’t going to sign the relinquishment papers for the baby.
Even when they get to take the child, they might find that their feelings aren’t all positive. They might go through periods where they still feel like the child isn’t fully theirs. They might feel the apprehension of caring for a baby, just like any parents who bring a new baby home.
As time goes on, the adoptive parents will be more likely to settle into a routine. Even then, negative thoughts might creep up, especially after a rough day. These are negative and don’t reflect badly on the adoptive parents.
If you are considering adoption, one of the best things that you can do is to weigh all of your options before selecting the best for your family. You should also make sure that you are going through the adoption process properly.
Source: Adoptive Families, “Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother,” Jana Wolff, accessed Sep. 15, 2017