Regan Armstrong & Associates, PLLC

Long-distance parenting: Review the terms of summer visits

2020-10-19T04:11:56Z

With the summer months right around the corner, now is the time to think about child care if you already haven't. For parents who don't have their kids during the school year, this might be a challenging time. In the case of long-distance parenting, you might have to plan for what you will do when you need to work, and the kids are with you.

It is unrealistic to think that you will be able to take the summer off. Instead, you might want to see if you can find a way to work a reduced schedule, so you have the time to spend with your children while they are with you. On the days that you have to work, you might choose to have a sitter come to the home or you may choose a day care center or camp.

We know that most parents want to spend as much time as they can with their children. This is what makes it so difficult to live away from them. If you are in a long-distance parenting situation, you should figure out ways to build a meaningful relationship with them even if you aren't right there. This might make the transition to parenting over the summer months a bit easier.

Because you only have the kids for a small part of the year, you should review the parenting plan before they come to your home. This ensures you are doing things in accordance with the plan. Pay close attention to any rules about traveling with them or allowing them to contact their other parent. We can help you review the document or seek modifications if there are things that aren't working for the situation any longer.

Dealing with unexpected emotions during divorce

2020-10-21T00:06:35Z

A divorce is a very emotional episode in your life. Many people think that this means that they will only feel sad and angry. This isn't necessarily the case. The feelings that you have during a divorce can be varied, so you should be prepared to deal with a host of emotions.

One of the most shocking is that you might feel nostalgic about memories of the marriage. These feelings of nostalgia can come when you see something that reminds you of a shared good time or if you go somewhere that holds positive memories. Choosing to focus on the positive things that resulted from the marriage can help you in the long run.

Another feeling that you might have is hope. You see the possibilities in your new life. You can use this to help you find purpose and set your goals for this period. Embrace these feelings and use them as fuel to reach your dreams.

Relief is also possible. You might not have felt like you were where you needed to be as the marriage was ending. Knowing that you are taking steps to get to where you want to be can be nice. You might feel even more relieved when the transition period is over and the divorce is finalized.

You may also feel a sense of pride and enhanced sense of confidence when you realize that you've made it on your own. The decisions you've made and the improvements you're responsible for might be major highlights of your life.

As you are venturing through the process of legally ending the marriage, make sure that you are making choices with the future in mind. This isn't always easy, but it can help you tremendously.

Divorce can devastate adopted children

2020-10-19T04:12:14Z

Many people bring a child into their home through divorce. This is a lifelong commitment to help raise that child and help them become productive adults. You should remember that this continues even if you and your spouse decide that you are going to divorce. Unfortunately, going through their adoptive parents' divorce can be a very traumatic experience for the children, especially when they are older when they were adopted.

The reason why adopted children might have such a difficulty is that they thought they had found their permanent home. It is hard for them to understand that their parents getting divorced doesn't mean that they are losing them. You will likely have to help them realize that you and your ex will both still be their parents.

It can also be hard for them to adjust to having two homes now. They crave stability that comes with an adoptive family, and they are likely concerned that they will lose one of the homes. Finding ways that help to ease the adjustment between homes can be beneficial.

One challenge that you might have as a parent is working with your ex. You need to be a team so that you can do what is best for the children. This requires you to have open and respectful communication. Trying to set standards that can span both homes might also help them to adjust to the new way of life.

You need to have a parenting plan for all children, including those you have chosen to love through adoption. Getting this set as early as possible can help the kids to adjust so they can thrive.

Factors that can render your prenuptial agreement invalid

2020-10-19T04:12:04Z

If you are going to have a prenuptial agreement drawn up before you get married, you need to learn about some of the things that might invalidate it. An invalidated prenuptial agreement means that you don't have the protections that you thought you would.

One of the most important things to do is to make sure that you start the process early in the engagement. Both parties have to have ample time to read the agreement, review the terms and consult with an attorney. If it is presented too close to the wedding, there is a chance that the court might find that it should be invalidated.

Neither party can be pressured into signing it. Signing a prenuptial agreement has to be fully voluntary. Any signs that it was a forced signature can invalidate it.

You have to ensure that the premarital agreement is presented and executed in accordance with the law. It must be in writing. If you don't have everything in order, the contents of it won't matter a bit.

The information provided in the prenuptial agreement must be fully accurate and complete. You can't leave anything out or misrepresent anything if you are going to enjoy the protections that the agreement can provide.

Finally, the agreement can't overly favor either spouse. If it seems like one party is getting everything good and the other is left destitute, the court doesn't have to abide by the terms of the prenup.

Because these are such serious matters, make sure that you work with your legal counsel to ensure that you are going to be able to have the prenuptial agreement enforced if the time comes.

Working as a parenting team sets a good standard for the kids

2020-10-19T04:11:48Z

Parents who are able to work as a team will likely see that their children are adjusting well to the divorce. The co-parenting method is one that works well in these circumstances because the divorced parents remain a team when it comes to the children. This often helps the children feel more secure and provides better consistency for them.

The benefits of co-parenting are well documented, so parents might be able to use these as a reason to work toward an amicable situation. Here are a few to remember:

The children get a good example on how people can work as a team and build up relationships. They can also learn about how mutual respect and cooperation can benefit almost any situation.
The kids have a consistency that helps them to thrive since they aren't having to adjust to different rules in each home.
They can feel secure and enjoy better emotional and mental health. They know that their parents are working as a team to help them have the best life possible.

One thing that many co-parents do is set the tone for the relationship early in the process. They set standards for respect and will likely keep communication at a professional tone. It should be noted in the parenting plan that parents will communicate directly with each other instead of using the kids as messengers.

Conflict resolution standards might be set so that both parties know what to expect when disagreements occur. There are bound to be some as the children grow up, so both parents should retain their desire to compromise and work together for the good of the children.

Tips for announcing your divorce to others

2020-10-20T19:08:37Z

When your marriage ends, one unpleasant things that you will have to do is inform others about the pending divorce. The announcement might come as a tough conversation, but it isn't something that can usually be avoided.

Depending on your relationship with the people you tell, the conversations may be quite challenging. Consider these tips when you need to let others know that you are divorcing:

Let people closest to you know about the divorce first. This includes your children, parents and others who are directly impacted by the split. They don't need to find out on social media or from anyone other than you.
Consider making a social media announcement to let friends know. Alternatively, you could send out texts or something similar. This prevents you from having lengthy conversations about it with acquaintances.
Set clear boundaries about what can be discussed. Some people will want to know more details. Make sure that you and your ex have an agreement to not discuss intimate matters or anything that might cast a negative light on either adult. If you have children, you have to try to minimize the negative things they will hear about their parents.

One important thing to remember when you announce your divorce is that what you say and do might impact the terms of the divorce that you will have to live with. Be careful about what information about the end of the marriage you divulge to mutual friends and pay close attention to how things might appear on social media. For example, you shouldn't post a picture of you on a luxury vacation to Instagram if you're alleging in the divorce that you are experiencing money problems. Remember that once you announce the split, your life will likely be under a microscope.

Ensure you are comfortable with the adoption terms

2020-10-20T19:08:46Z

One of the things that you have to think about when you are planning on adopting a child is the type of adoption you want to have. There are two primary forms – the open and the closed. In the past, the vast majority of adoptions were closed so that the birth family and adoptive family didn't know each other. When the child reached adulthood, they could look for their birth family. This presents some challenges, especially if since the adoptive family had very limited information about the birth family.

Now, open adoptions are far more common. But this doesn't mean that they are right in all situations. An open adoption means that the birth family and adoptive family exchange information. In some cases, they have an ongoing relationship. The extent to which this happens depends on how comfortable both sides are with the situation.

We know that you might have some questions about both types. We can answer those. One thing to remember is that you do have the option of changing things about the contact with the birth parents if there is a need to. This might be necessary if the birth family is saying or doing things that might confuse or harm the child.

An adoption is a wonderful way to grow your family, but you should make sure that you are comfortable with the terms. Because there are many ways that these cases can be handled, you do have plenty of options to choose from. We can help you review them so that you know what responsibilities and rights you have in each.

Your child must feel at home at your house

2020-10-20T19:08:23Z

If you move out of the marital home when you divorce, you might find that your children are having trouble adjusting to life at your home. There are some ways that you might be able to help them feel more at home there. It will take time, especially since they aren't with you on a daily basis, so be willing to give them time.

First, give them their own space. If your children can have their own bedroom, that should be their own space. If more than one will share the room, be sure that they each have their own drawers or area in the closet. This should be the place where they can keep their things.

Second, let them have a say in the décor. This doesn't mean that you have to do everything they want. Instead, you might decide that they can decorate their own room or maybe they can be in charge of a bathroom. Of course, you have the final say, but letting them have a part in their decisions can help them to feel like they are an important part of the family.

Third, remind them that they can have happiness in both homes. They often feel divided since they have two houses. There really isn't a reason for this since they are in both families. Encourage them to have fun at your house and your ex's, and ask them to share their memories with you.

It will also help for you to set the terms of the parenting plan in a way that reflects your children's needs. Mutual respect is a must for the parents, and conflict resolution should be included in the order.

3 areas of focus for your divorce strategy

2020-10-20T19:08:57Z

When you are going through a divorce, there are three primary areas that might need to be addressed. Some divorces might have all of these, and others may have one or two. No matter what, it is a good idea to look into them so that you know what to expect. We are here to answer any questions you might have about any of these common concerns.

First, you will have to divide the marital assets and debts. This is known as property division. Some people who are going through this process choose to split up the larger assets like real estate before they move to the smaller ones. This enables them to use the smaller ones to balance out the agreement. Debts might be saved for last since these can also be used to balance out the agreement.

Second, you might have to deal with alimony, which is sometimes called spousal support. This isn't common, but it is possible when a marriage meets certain requirements. The court will look at a variety of points to determine what is appropriate. In some cases, you might be able to negotiate a settlement with your ex.

Third, you may have to handle child custody matters. If you have any minor children in the home, you will have to do this. In many cases, custody is one of the more contentious areas of negotiation. You have to think about what is best for the children, so remember to focus on that when you are trying to figure out how to handle custody decisions.

Throughout the process, you might need to make important decisions. We will work with you to evaluate the options so you can determine what is in your best interests.

Marital agreements offer protection to both spouses

2020-10-20T19:09:18Z

Becoming engaged to the love of your life is a big step in your relationship. It is also the start of wedding planning. While you might be focused on choosing a venue, colors and other aspects of the wedding, don't forget that now is the best time to protect your future. You can do this by entering into a prenuptial agreement with your future spouse.

Some people don't like the sound a prenup. They think it means that they plan for the marriage to fail. This isn't at all the attitude you should have about it. Instead, the agreement gives you and your betrothed a chance to ensure you are on the same with the financial matters of the union.

The prenuptial agreement outlines what will happen to currently held assets and debts if the marriage ends. The terms of it must be fair to both parties. If you have children from a previous relationship, this can protect them too. It can also ensure that you get to hang on to family heirlooms and other assets that are passed down to you when a loved one passes away.

If you are going to have a premarital agreement, make sure that the matter is discussed early in the engagement. If you wait until too close to the wedding, the court might say that it was signed under duress because both parties didn't have a chance to consider the terms.

If you don't have a prenup and are currently married, you might be able to use a postnuptial agreement to enjoy some of the same protections. Before entering into either of these agreements, you need to look at how they apply to your case. This might help you decide what to include in them. Just remember that your significant other needs to have time to review the terms and that the terms must not favor one person over the other.