For some, the prospect of dating someone else may seem far-fetched after dealing with a tough divorce. For others, dating can’t come fast enough. Whatever your situation is, it may not be easy to do so when you have children. There may be a number of reasons behind this. Some kids may be holding out hope that you and your ex will get back together. Other kids may feel as if they cannot do without you and the prospect of you going out on a date is hard for them.
If you choose to date again, it may be helpful to follow some basic tips so that your children are not put through undue emotional pain.
Look for someone fun, not a babysitter – It understandable to be drawn to someone who is good with the kids, but this should not be a dominant or determining factor. After all, you are looking for someone to have fun with, not a free babysitter.
You make the decision, not the kids – As we said previously, a child may not be okay with you going out on a date. While this is noble, you still have a life to live, and your child should not be making decisions about your personal life. It is helpful to have a conversation to reassure them that you still love them even though you need a “play date” with someone else at times.
Don’t feel guilty – After you talk with your child about how you can have a personal life outside of your relationship with him or her, let go of the guilty feelings that may come with leaving your child behind for a date.
The preceding is not to be construed as legal advice. Specific questions should be directed to an attorney.