Grandparents can feel as if they are in no win situations when grandchildren are caught in the throes of divorce. Do they decide to intervene, or should they stay away and let the parents work things out? This can be especially difficult if a grandparent has an established relationship with a child, and can no longer spend time with him (or her) because of a parent’s angst.
Indeed, being a grandparent to a child of divorce is not easy. There are a number of people (and feelings) that must be managed, including the other set of grandparents, your child and their spouse, as well as the grandchild. This post will provide some helpful hints to make the best of a difficult situation.
Keep it positive – It may not seem like it, but children hear everything. Because of this, it is important to keep disparaging statements or negative comments to yourself. While it might be tempting (especially if the other parent was mean to you) to give him or her a piece of your mind, it may only end up causing the kids more anxiety.
Have a listening ear – It is normal for kids to confide in people they trust. So don’t be afraid of the difficult questions that may come from a child of divorce. They may ask some hard one’s too (e.g., does mom or dad love me? Where am I going to live? Do I have to listen to them if they are getting a divorce?) In this role, a grandparent must try to remain neutral.
Source: HuffingtonPost.com, Helping grandkids survive divorce, March 29, 2013