Parents have to deal with sibling rivalry even in the best of circumstances. When they divorce, the children might have a worsening rivalry that is difficult to handle. There are many reasons that rivalries get worse during divorce, so finding the one or combination that are causing the problem in your home can be a challenge.
One of the primary reasons that sibling rivalry occurs is because the children feel as though they have to compete the for the parent's attention. This can get worse during the divorce, since the children feel unsure about the changes that are going on in the family. They aren't sure what to do and just want any type of attention, even if it is negative.
The emotions that come with a divorce are hard for some children to process. Even though you have to deal with your own emotions, you need to try to help your kids work through theirs as well. This might be a challenge. However, you will find that it is worth the effort when your children stop trying to one-up each other and can begin to settle into the new routine.
Your children might also be feeling the stress of the situation, which is difficult for them to handle since they also have to worry about school and other normal childhood things. It might help your children to have time to themselves and a space where they can go when they are feeling overwhelmed.
Throughout the divorce and in the adjustment period afterward, you should be ready to find out what your children need. You and your ex might have to work together to ensure this happens. Having a solid parenting plan might help to increase the security the children feel during the situation.